I am terrible at translating French words into English. Unfortunately, my colleagues either haven’t realised this yet, or they enjoy watching me suffer. It all started out simply enough…
‘Comment on dit plâtre en anglais? You know, what you put on a broken bone.’
‘What do you call this? We say trombone.’
‘What do you call the snail without a house on his back?’
For the record – plaster cast, paper clip, slug.
Since then I’ve been asked for more complex translations – phrases, obscure things which I wasn’t aware there were names for – you get the idea. The problem is that I’ve incorporated a lot of French words into my vocabulary, and, for example, when asked how to say convivial in English, the thought process goes something like this:
Convivial… I know this word… Is it an English word…? It sounds French… But maybe we use it, too… Maybe I’ve just picked it up… No, surely English speakers would understand it… Oh shit, they want an answer…
‘I think we say the same…’
My colleagues looked sceptical.
Last week, we were talking about sanglier.
Colleague 1: ‘Comment on dit sanglier en anglais? Is it wild swine? It’s wild swine in Norwegian.’
Colleague 2: ‘Yes, it’s wild swine in Dutch, too.’
Laura: ‘Hmm… We say wild boar.’
All colleagues literally ROFL.
Laura: ‘What?’
Colleague 1: ‘Boar? What kind of a word is that? Hahahahaha, that’s so stupid! Spell it for us!’
Colleague 3: ‘This is the thing that Asterix hunts? B-O-A-R. It’s a stupid word.’
Laura: ‘What’s wrong with boar?’
All colleagues: ‘B-O-A-R. Boar! Hahahahahaha.’
Laura (dejectedly): ‘Is this because I laugh at your languages?’
I’m still confused, but a few days later I was cheered up:
Laura: ‘Comment on dit shredder en francais?’
Colleague 1: ‘Beeeen…. Destructeur du papier.’
Laura: ‘Haha, destroyer of paper. I like it – logical!’
Colleague proceeds to look on the internet to check.
Colleague 1: ‘Déchiqueteuse? That’s not a word… Oh, maybe it is.’
Laura: ‘It’s ok, I preferred your word. I think I’ll use that.’
It’s good to know it’s not just me who struggles with her own language…
I get this a lot at work too. As the only native English speaker in our unit I also get asked to proofread any English text a colleague produces, including CVs when they’re looking for another job…
Do you do the same as Ben and leave it sounding a little bit foreign because it’s more interesting that way?
Depends on how much I hate the person. I’ll correct the spelling and most egregious grammatical errors, but often making it sound like real English means taking it apart completely and starting from scratch, and I just can’t be arsed.
Hmm… the word “boar” in English sounds pretty much like the word for “farmer” in Dutch (“boer”). Maybe they were imagining pigs all dressed up like farmers, with overalls and pitchforks, and found the image really funny?
I find that image funny – so maybe? They actually made me say it again today, for their amusement.
Yeah in Dutch the word for swine is zwijn (sounds like zwain), although in america we sometimes say swine for pig. Although we use boar as well.
And yes! I have major issues sometimes with my languages now. Sometimes I can’t think of a word in English, only Dutch, or I want to use a certain word that has a particular context in Dutch, but not the same in english and then I get all confused with the best way to say what I want in the given language.
Makes you wonder how people who speak more than 2 languages stay sane, no?
I know! My French teacher is permanently confused by my translations into English. I think I definitely speak foreign English nowadays.